HOWARD STERN 1-19-2009 Mastertape Theatre 3-04-1998 96kbps

HOWARD STERN 1-19-2009 Mastertape Theatre 3-04-1998 96kbps # Henry Hill Checks In. 3/4/98. 6:30am Ex-mobster Henry Hill called in for no good reason this morning. He sounded like his old self today. It sounded like he may have been drinking so he was in a jolly mood. Henry had a woman on the phone with him but it wasn't his girlfriend. The woman was some prosecutors girlfriend or something like that. Howard said that Henry is pitching a cook book to some publishers and Howard got a hold of the pitch. It basically says that food was a big part of the mob and would know that. I guess the recipes are his. If the cook book ever gets released I'll be sure to post it here. As far as the woman on the phone with Henry, it was too confusing to figure out so I'll give up now. # Author Tracy Alderman Calls In. 3/4/98. 7:10am This woman wrote ''The Scarred Soul : Understanding & Ending Self-Inflicted Violence''. It's about people who self-mutilate themselves. Howard seemed pretty interested in the subject. He spoke to Tracy for a little while about the different ways people self-mutilate. She was saying that some people cut themselves with razors while others chew their fingernails until they bleed. Some people even pull their own hair out. I guess it's some kind of illness. If you're interested in reading more about it, click here to order it. # Hank The Dwarf Does Karaoke. 3/4/98. 7:30am Hank The Angry Dwarf had come down from Massachusetts to be a judge on the show today. He showed up at the station at 3:00am already drunk. Apparently he came down extra early to hit the bars in New York City because they close too early up in Massachusetts. He was nice and drunk when he came in. Howard had Hank dress up like the Easter bunny. During past appearances Hank had mentioned that he liked singing Karaoke songs so Howard arranged to have him sing a couple today. He sang along to a Led Zeppelin song and also to ''Jumpin Jack Flash''. It was pretty funny. Howard also arranged to have a breathalyzer test set up so they could see just how drunk Hank was. Well on the first blow he blew a .52! That's pretty much dead so Howard had them do it again and he blew a .375 which is almost 4 times the legal limit in New York. He was handling it pretty well though. Gary had Hank perform some of the usual drunk driver tests where the cops have you touch your nose with your eyes closed and stuff like that. Hank did pretty well with those tests too. He's an amazing little dwarf. Howard took a bunch of phone calls from listeners who wanted to yell at Hank. Hank's most common comeback was ''why don't you go have sex with your mother!''. He must have used that line 10 times. # Does Nicolette Look Better Than Pamela Lee? 3/4/98. 8:10am Nicolette is a 18 year old woman who called in the other day claiming that she is better looking than Pamela Anderson Lee. Howard wanted to see if it was true so he invited her down to the studio. He had 4 judges lined up to tell Nicolette the truth. Hank The Dwarf, Colt 40 Feinberg, Ralph and Hank's friend Todd were the judges. As soon as Nicolette came into the studio it was obvious that she wasn't even close to looking as good as Pam. Howard didn't waste much time with Nicolette. He had the judges give their opinions. Everyone agreed that she had a big ass. She wouldn't pick up her dress to show them but they could tell. She did take off her top to reveal her D-Cup breasts though. She claimed that they were real but who cares. Colt 40 Feinberg said that he would give her a negative number on a scale of 1 to 10. Ralph gave her a 5, Todd gave her a 4.5. Hank said that he'd either give her a 1 or a 10 depending on if she'd have sex with him. Howard said he found her kind of cute and gave her a 7 out of 10. Nicolette kept saying that she was better than Pam because she's all natural and Pam has had plastic surgery. That just didn't cut it with the judges. # Paul McKenna Hypnotizes Scores Girls And Interns. 3/4/98. 8:45am The worlds greatest hypnotist, Paul McKenna, came in to hypnotize a bunch of people for Howard. Paul McKenna is going to be doing a Broadway show during the month of March. He'll be doing 7 shows on Sunday's and Monday's at the Roundabout Theater. Tickets are available by calling 212-307-4100 and if you mention Howard's name you'll get $10 taken off the ticket price. The people who were to be hypnotized today were 3 Scores dancers, Amanda, Savannah and Karina, plus Benji and Mike the interns and Doug and Issac from E!. The Scores girls were up first. Howard had Paul hypnotize them into thinking they had all had sex with Howard, Jackie and Fred. They questioned each girl and they all told stories about their sexual experiences. 2 of the girls claimed that Jackie liked to watch the others having sex while he put on lipstick. It must have something to do with Jackie being the ''JokeMan'' and thinking he's like a clown or something. So after that Howard had Paul hypnotize them so that they would demonstrate their orgasm's in the ''Orgasm Olympics''. Well Amanda and Karina were so graphic with their orgasm demonstration that the delay had to be hit a bunch of times. Savannah was a little more subdued although still very sexy. After the girls were done Howard had Paul hypnotize the guys so that when Howard would rub his ear they'd get very aroused. That didn't last long because it was making Howard sick. Mike was so into it he almost fell over in pleasure. It was so gay that Howard just stopped. The next thing was to have Benji the intern hypnotized to think that someone had stolen his penis. That was pretty funny because he thought that one of the other guys may have stolen it. He just kept asking for someone to give it back to him. Next up was Doug from E!. Howard had him hypnotized to think that he was having a baby and when Howard said the word ''baby'' Doug would go into labor. I can't wait to see that on E!. He gave birth and even pretended to hold the baby for the rest of the segment. The last thing they did was to have Amanda get really aroused when Howard pushed a buzzer on his megaphone. Howard loved that. Every time he wanted her to get turned on he'd just hit the buzzer and she'd go nuts. # Hank The Dwarf Sits In During The News. 3/4/98. 9:25am After Hank's appearance earlier this morning he went into the green room and passed out for a while. When he finally woke up he came in and hung around for the news. Since he'd slept off some of his alcohol Howard wanted to do another breathalyzer test. This time Hank was having a lot of trouble blowing into the machine. He must have tried it about 8 times until he finally got it right. He blew a .324, down from a .375 earlier this morning. The whole time he was in the studio Stuttering John had to watch and make sure that Hank didn't fall out of his seat. At one point Hank said he had to leave because he had someone waiting for him. A little while later, around 11 O'clock, Gary came in and said that Hank had gotten out of his bunny outfit but refused to get dressed until Howard saw him running around in his underwear. Hank came back in and ended up showing Robin and Howard his penis. Howard said it looked like Hank was packing a big penis so he wanted Robin to see it. It turned out that it wasn't as big as Howard thought. Before Hank left he said that he's going to be in a movie called ''Shoe Shine Boy''. I don't know when or where it'll show up.

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