Starcrash (1978) with MST3K style commentary

Starcrash! An amazing film from 1978 starring the luscious Caroline Munro and her minimalist wardrobe of leather space bikinis. David Hasselhoff's got eye makeup and a lightsaber, and Christopher Plummer IS the confused, golden-caped Emperor of the Entire Universe. An Italian Star Wars ripoff of the most blatant and inept kind, filmed in English, from a French DVD. Thanks to Cosmobells. I have provided my own [optional] MST3K-style commentary for this film. Frankly I think the movie is funny enough without commentary, but I hope I provide a few chuckles along the way. The commentary is an MP3, separate from the film, which can be watched without commentary. See sexy space smuggler Stella Star do battle with amazon women for no reason! See stop-motion special effects that look like they were done by Ray Harryhausen's blind retarded brother! With a score by four time Academy Award winner John Barry (James Bond films), who clearly needed the money. Caroline Munro is probably the only real reason to watch this film, but it is an incredibly hilarious movie, the perfect late-70s Star Wars ripoff to watch while drunk. The creepy Marjoe Gortner plays Akton, who with his blonde perm and man-makeup looks like a hellish clone of Mork from Ork, or the Greatest American Hero. He apparently has all sorts of special powers which are never explained. He dies on purpose for no reason. There's also a green guy called Thor who no one likes, a cowboy robot who could be Darth Vader's redneck cousin, the hilariously evil Count Zarth Arn and his stop-motion robots who look sort of like Tinkertoy renditions of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. David Hasselhoff, playing Prince Simon, doesn't show up til toward the end, but the Baywatch / Knight Rider star doesn't disappoint, first wearing a goofy gold mask, then showing his skills with a lightsaber (!) .... Like most of the men in this film, he also wears an incredible amount of eye makeup. There are also some stupid cavemen. I preferred the Amazon Girls myself. Oh, and an embarrassed, confused-looking Christopher Plummer, as the golden-caped Emperor of the Entire Universe, has the ability to stop time! Apparently. His performance is wonderfully vague. Will the babelicious Stella Star and redneck robot Elle defeat whatever they're supposed to be defeating? Who knows? Who cares? At least she dresses in a Vampirella - like leather space bikini for most of the film. Even by MST3K standards this film beggars belief. This was released on VHS in the US by Roger Corman, but he actually cut out some of the more wonderfully awkward moments. This is the French version, "Le Choc Des Etoiles," which is uncut, and available in a 2-DVD set featuring a making of documentary and "Starcrash 2," an even worse movie featuring none of this movie's cast and all of this movie's effects. I understand a proper American DVD is coming October 17, 2009. I hope it's uncut. Directed by Luigi Cozzi. With Marjoe Gortner, Caroline Munro, Christopher Plummer, David Hasselhoff. Commentary by Garrett Gilchrist.

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tygerbug (2009-07-26)

DVD art by Garrett Gilchrist:

bajendanne (2009-10-02)

Seed please...

S3nd41 (2010-02-02)

Someone please reseed this, I'm at 95%

Monroville (2010-09-22)

Who had the bright idea to have the commentary track as a seperate MP3 file (as opposed to making it a second audio track on the AVI file)? I cannot burn this to DVD with the commentary track, nor can I play an MKV (with the audio track merged onto the AVI) on my PS3, it will not mux to a TS file and I cannot merge the audio commentary onto the AVI via OJO Soft or any other converter program.
So folks, until someone is bright enough to create a file that is either a VOB file with the 2 audio tracks included (so you can use NERO to do a straight burn to DVD) or create an AVI "WITH" the commentary on the audio, you can only watch this on your PC.

Monroville (2011-09-14)

problem solved using MKV Merge.

Primon9 (2012-04-12)

@monroville
dick...